Dear Wives of the Creative…

Dear Wives* of the Creative:

[*or husbands, spouses, life partners, etc.]

I feel that I need to provide some guidelines to help you understand your creative partner and how to properly conduct yourself around him or her.

I’ll start slowly.

Yes, he is like a child. Yes, he frustrates the hell out of you at times. But he’s a good person. He means well. He just wants to bring his creations to the forefront and be recognized as a creative person. You don’t have to love his stuff or even pretend to. In fact, don’t pretend. Criticism from you would be welcomed and much more productive than your well-intentioned scoldings of “stop wasting your friggin’ time!”

When he picks up his pen or his guitar or has that other-worldly, lost look in his eye that tells you there is creation happening within his cranium, don’t ask him to go get the laundry. You can do that for him – he’s busy being creative. Assigning menial tasks will only disrupt and lengthen the process and bring rise to frustration and moodiness, which you will suffer from.

Does he want to be alone? Grant him this wish by all means and let beautiful creation flow through your muse. Sometimes the gods will not speak to your partner when he is in the company of the non-gifted “regular” people.

Does he need something to drink? Perhaps your creation cultivator is in need of his favorite beverage, be it a scotch on the rocks, a cold beer or something else. Don’t ask him; you should know what he needs to lubricate his brain as it squeezes out the truth from within and apprehends the universals from without. Just quietly push it in front of him. No, don’t say anything, just be gone.

There will be times when you wonder why you are so lavishly bequeathing your partner with such royal treatment. But do not entertain such thoughts as you might invite negative spirits upon your dwelling and prevent his genius from being spawned and sicced on the world. Do not doubt his greatness, even if he – or the world – has not yet realized it himself. You must be his sole disciple if necessary, the feeder of grapes to the gills of godliness.

And when your partner is ready for physical relations with you, you must give yourself immediately and without question. His seed must be received charitably and in a timely manner so as not to disturb the prana rising from within his spinal column.

Do not have needs of your own. You must live altruistically at all times. You can’t say “that’s not fair!” If you didn’t realize the intense commitment a relationship with a creative person requires, shame on you. It’s your fault because you knew he was different the moment you saw him; that’s what attracted you to him. If he wants to get another tattoo…let him!

Do not ask for him to aim his otherworldly gifts on you. At times you will be his inspiration, but you must be patient for these moments. Do not ask for a Valentine’s Day poem. It will come if you deserve it.

As you have no doubt realized, living with such a magnificent source of creativity is great responsibility. You must treat it right, cultivate it. For if the artist fails, it will no doubt be your fault and have nothing whatsoever to do with his artistic shortcomings – for there are none.

If by any chance someone queries you regarding the artist, his life, his habits and why the hell you are treating him like a king. Simply respond that he is a king and should be divinely handled as such. For it is no business of theirs, especially should this querier be a close relative.

Should the creative partner take on a shoddy, disheveled and bearded countenance and perhaps the undertone of a foul stench, understand that he is going through some tough times. You must realize that it is a lot of tough work being the medium through which magical masterpieces must manifest and pass. Your artist didn’t choose this. He is at the mercy of this wicked gift and at these times must be coddled even more aggressively. At no time during these days – or even months – should his appearance, attitude or demeanor be criticized.

Should the artist fail to come home some nights or fail to rise in the mornings until mid-afternoon, know that he has been working hard on his craft, tediously pulling forth and reaping the benefits, sowing the seeds of his masterpieces.

Realize he is doing this for you.

Know these rules. Live by them…or you might give his soul a boo boo.



About Yorick von Fortinbras

YvF is a writer, musician that stays sane by being creative while navigating the demands of life, looking for those holes where a spark can get through.
This entry was posted in advice, Creativity, mind, Music, relationships, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Dear Wives of the Creative…

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Dear Wives of the Creative… | The Functional Lunatic --

  2. Pingback: It’s Not a Burden, It’s a Gift…Right? – Guest Blog « The Schizophrenic Writer

  3. Jack Flacco says:

    Such a great post. I can’t say how funny it was reading the last part: “Should the creative partner take on a shoddy, disheveled and bearded countenance and perhaps the undertone of a foul stench…” Actually, it was hilarious! It’s never gotten bad in our home. I’m really, really good planing my time, but I also have lots and lots of time on my train rides to and from the city. I guess that sentence was rather moot. Nonetheless, I enjoyed reading your post and feel I’ve gained something I didn’t have at the start of today!

    Thanks and keep on writing these great posts, they are heartwarming and informative!

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