Chaotic Thought Monday – Part Deux

Stomping out Mondays

Yes, it’s Monday – time for chaotic thoughts.

I don’t know what is so hard about this. With all the devastation happening now in Japan, throughout southeast Asia, Haiti and that will certainly happen here in the United States sooner or later, why can’t anyone in the tectonic and geological sciences understand that you don’t need to be able to predict earthquakes to protect the world’s inhabitants from them. No. This whole problem is being misunderstood and misdiagnosed. To resolve this whole issue once and for all, you don’t need sophisticated technology to determine high risk seismic areas and you don’t need elaborate warning systems. All you have to do is stop the earth’s plates from moving. When there is no movement, there is no pressure and tension built up over the decades just waiting to catastrophically combust. Jeez, do I have to solve every problem?

I mean really, there are three ways to do this.

The first method simply involves freezing the molten hot magma on which the plates ride. That way, they would finally lock in place and stop grinding against each other, creating earthquakes registering 23.5 on the Richter scale and ginormous tsunamis. OK, freezing all of earth’s magma would be hard to do since you’d have to stuff a whole mess of refrigerators into the earth’s core. But when you think about it, that wouldn’t be too difficult because once you get them there they would be stuck hovering at the center of the earth just floating there in gravity’s hold. And the heat from the magma would actually serve as the energy source for the refrigerators and that source wouldn’t run out until the magma cooled.

The second way to stop earthquakes requires a whole lot of crazy glue. I figure if you get enough homeless people and pay them about 3 bucks an hour, they can fill all of the world’s faults with the glue. Two perks here: they get to travel all over the world and they have unlimited amounts of glue to sniff and get high off of. So they wouldn’t need to spend the money they earned on alcohol and drugs. Wow, that’s actually a third bonus there.

The final way to prevent earthquakes, tsunamis and worldwide devastation in the future is to get the tectonic plates to just agree to all float in the same direction on the magma. All you really have to do is convince the Juan de Fuca plate. Even though it is very small and nestled up between the North American and Pacific plates, it is a very influential plate and the others will listen to him – or her. I’m not sure how to check that although I can imagine a couple possibilities.

There, problem solved. You’re welcome, western seaboard of California. Now everyone can stop worrying about breaking off into the Pacific.

OK, time for the shoutout to recognize the latest Century Mark Blog Star award winner, @MegLaBarbie. You should rush right out and follow her if you don’t already. If you don’t have a Twitter account, go start one so you can follow @MegLaBarbie. Do it now…I’ll wait…

…and just so you know, Meg is Liverpool born (so she knows all of the Beatles, obviously), has an unhealthy addiction to beauty, bags and dancing, and she has no regrets, lives her life to laugh and love, loves telephone hold music and currently has a crick in her neck – so don’t make fun of her robot-like movements (I would not be able to stop laughing at her, btw). So there it is. Congratulations, Meg.

Moving on to other things on this Chaotic Monday Part Deux (pronounced like “dooks”), I’m returning to Peru on Thursday for 2 weeks. My goal is simply twofold: (1) to take some really awesome HDR photos and (2) to come back alive. For some reason, whenever I go to Peru, one of my primary goals always seems to be about coming back alive…or intact. Let’s hope the good luck persists.

The word I’m thinking about today most is “egregious”. I haven’t found a good place to use it yet but the day is only half over. I’m sure I’ll find a good time to stick it in somewhere without it seeming egregiously out of place. Oh, what was that? Man, I’m good.

Music notes: This morning on my 13 mile, 45 minute drive to work dodging minivans and school buses, I heard on the radio that Chris Cornell was quoted as saying he used to write songs like people go to movies. Seems kind of a strange comparison. I love Chris Cornell – solo stuff and Sound Garden alike – but that doesn’t seem to be the most effective way of making his point, which I believe was that he wrote a lot of songs and did it easily. I mean, I go to the movies about once every 4 months. I know some people go more. But did he only write songs on Friday nights? Did he eat popcorn while composing music? Did he think of movie stars while writing riffs? I don’t get the metaphor.

I’ll end this with a thought I had while walking across the gym last night. The thought was, “nobody’s looking at me.” And it was a liberating thought that I had never had before. My personal and social paranoia always places the idea firmly in my awareness that “everyone’s looking at me” so no matter where I went, it was always with a sense of super self-consciousness that was quite socially debilitating. I did used to get a lot of attention from the opposite sex, I must say, and my social issues always made me kind of like the mysterious, quiet guy which, in turn, drew more unwanted attention my way. But now, let’s face it. I’m getting older. No one’s looking my way anymore and the realization is actually quite relieving.

On the other hand, while I don’t mind if no one’s looking, I do mind if no one’s reading. So do me a favor and drop a comment to let me know you’re out there or I might just keep on walking in anonymity into the sunset – with camera in hand, of course. I can’t take the crickets anymore.

Two years ago today, the world lost someone it will never see the likes of again. I often wonder: if George had known he was going to die at age 36, would he have done anything differently? It’s something you often hear people wondering, but I don’t mean this at all in a spurious or concocted sense. I truly believe the answer is “No.”



About Yorick von Fortinbras

YvF is a writer, musician that stays sane by being creative while navigating the demands of life, looking for those holes where a spark can get through.
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