What If All Viruses Went Viral?

virusHere’s how I summarize my struggle for recognition as a writer: I am a virus.

I am like an insect laying eggs in as many strategic poops as I can in the hopes that the environment is just right in one of them for just one clump to sprout and prosper. I’m honing my strategy, scouting, leering and lurking here and there.

Yes, I’m a virus injecting DNA into myriad host cells in the hopes that they will burst their guts all over the internet, replicating my work and ensuring continued life…figuratively, of course.

You, my friends, are symbiotes that aren’t necessarily trying to do what symbiotes typically do. You are defending the natural resistance to that wide-recognition fortress of knowledge, protecting a domain that must be protected much like these symbiotes are protecting computer systems.

Your protection ensures a natural order. Because if all viruses went viral, this would happen.

I don’t blame you for protecting the sanctity of existence. You are endeavoring upon your own search for knowledge and truth. And I believe that many writers, artists and musicians own a tendency to act like a virus. Without this tendency a writer will never be read, a musician never heard, an artist’s work never seen.

Here’s the twist…

The Functional Lunatic, always with a pedantic (but benevolent and benign) bent for cleverness – and an innate tendency to talk about himself in the 3rd person – is posting in an effort to bypass this entire process.

If you simply acknowledge that I am the all-knowing pillar of truth for which you search, your search can end with me.

Yes, you can still continue trying to spread your own little virus by laying your egg in my comments section below. I’m also a symbiote, and a pretty good one at that. But I’ll be a welcoming symbiote.

So in review, you should:

(1)   Leave a comment below containing your virus
(2)   Share this link to all your friends and Twitter followers and encourage them to visit this location (http://wp.me/p1kMu0-fc)
(3)   Print this scan on a shirt and wear it every day or on a piece of paper left randomly at any location

qrcodeThe point is for us to work together to take over the world *ahem* I mean the point is to work together to spread our virus of truth, of music, of literature, of art.

Once I do become your god of Truth, perhaps I will write the best story ever… Or maybe I’ll just write about a guy that writes the best story ever. That kind of takes the pressure off. But wait! A good virus thrives under pressure, so I will write the best story ever!

Once the topic comes to me…

That’s one of the reasons I write: to hone my skills for when the Big One, the Big Story comes to me. Not a little topic for a blog, not a tiny riff for a tune, not a vision out of the corner of my eye for a picture. No, I am in a constant state of alertness and vigil because I know my big story is coming.

I have unknowingly been preparing to write this story my whole life. After Delphi and my other stuff was nothing but prep work, which has come via poetry, music, novels, short stories, heartbreak, injury, childhood memories…when the Big Story comes I will know it. It will be something special, perhaps terrible, but special nonetheless…meaning different, unordinary – extraordinary: not necessarily special in a “good” sense.

My story may come through suffering – of myself or someone close to me. I would prefer the former, since I feel I don’t suffer enough. My life is way too easy.

Then I’ll sit back and read what I wrote since that is the best part. I love reading what I wrote. It comes into my head and through my fingers. If I don’t get it out within 8 seconds it’s gone. The moment I write it, it is forgotten. That’s why I can’t wait to read what I’m going to write next.

Side note: Twitter would be better if there was a master intelligence digesting all tweets and determining objectively which were the best. I’d be winning, naturally, but since people are currently deciding I’m not doing so well. I could guarantee the master intelligence reads my tweets…

OK, back to observing and waiting…

About Yorick von Fortinbras

YvF is a writer, musician that stays sane by being creative while navigating the demands of life, looking for those holes where a spark can get through.
This entry was posted in advice, Artificial Intelligence, Change, commentary, Creativity, Existence, Feedback, Fiction, friends, health, Ideas, Innovation, insects, IT, Mental problems, meta physics, mind, Observations, Philosophy, science, Social media, Technology, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to What If All Viruses Went Viral?

  1. meximo70 says:

    well, you can be rest assured (i have no idea what that means but we all say it around here) that HotDish Hell, MN will have a pandemic of The Functional Lunatic….muh wahhahahaha

  2. Excellent! Very excellent!!!

  3. Jack Flacco says:

    I actually wrote about viruses today in my post Zombie Apocalypse: Ground Zero (end of shameless plug) lol. And who speaks in the third person? Jack Flacco doesn’t speak in the third person for fear he loses his mind in a lunatic frenzy of ideas and bravuras. Er…(end of really weird 3rd person talking)…

    • I’ll check that out. And although I wished your brother good luck against the Patriots last week and it worked, I’m sorry to say I will not be extending any good wishes for this weekend against the 49ers

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